Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Long way to go

I realized today what a long road I still have to go down over the next 9 months. I do not know at what point I will feel secure that everything is going to be ok- probably never. I started spotting a small amount at work today. Called my Doctor's office- and after 2 hours of waiting the nurse practitioner called me back. I went in for a quick scan. It seems one of the sacs is progressing as it should, the other is not. It is most likely just going to kind of collapse into itself, at least that is what I was told.

Now do not get me wrong- I am SO GRATEFUL and SO RELIEVED that one embryo is doing well. Because it is so early I had prepared myself for the possibility of things not working out. But after the ultrasound, just knowing that the one is not going to make it just made it a reality that this whole thing could just come to an end at any given moment. I have this sick feeling in my stomach and I do not know how to make it go away. I am just praying that everything works out.


Blogger PJ said...

I wish I could say that the feeling completely goes away, but I would be lying.

I am 9+ weeks and still think at any moment it could end. I think that's good in a way because we truly get how special this is and don't take it for granted.

I hope everything stays well for the next 9 months for you and the baby. I'll be checking in on you.

5:51 AM  

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