Monday, August 22, 2005

so far so good

I guess it has been awhile since my last post. The days seem like they are going by fast. Probably because once I get home from work I spend the rest of the night feeling very nauseous and have a hard time getting up from the couch. I do not really have morning sickness but I definitely have evening sickness. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I don't. Over the weekend I started feeling kind of crampy which concerned me, so I called the office this morning to let them know and even though I was supposed to go in Wednesday and they said it would be fine to wait they bumped me up until today. The appointment went fine, all looked good and I did not feel crampy anymore anyway, but I guess it was good for my peace of mind. I felt really good knowing all was well and having the pictures that are really starting to resemble human form!!

About 2 hours after I got home the nurse practitioner called me just to talk about scheduling my next appointment. While we were on the phone she nonchalantly mentions when she was doing the scan she is "pretty positive" she noticed a small cyst on the umbilical cord. She said there was no reason to worry, it would probably resolve itself b/c I am so early blah, blah, blah. Now why she did not mention this while I was there I have NO idea. Then she says if it does not go away they can refer me on to maternal-fetal medicine b/c she know how anxious I am. So I half joking ask "Am I really that anxious?" and she kind of hesitated and said- "well, you are definitely on the higher end of the scale".

Ok- what the eff is that all about? In my opinion I have been pretty damn cool and collected throughout this whole process. When I was spotting and found out one sac did not make it I thought I was totally fine- did not freak out- otherwise I have hardly even asked many questions except if it is REALLY necessary to use progesterone 3 times a day. Now she tells me about this cyst, which like an idiot I google and learn it could indicate other fetal abnormalities. So of course part of me wants to spaz but part of me figures if it goes away on it's own I would not even know about it if I was not getting scans so early, just like I would have never known about the other sac.

Which brings me to the conclusion that even though I am going to stick with this office through my first trimester I have very mixed feelings about these constant visits and scans. If I was just going to my ob/gyn I would not even go until September and I would not have an ultrasound until 18 weeks and maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it would be best for me to be blissfully unaware of extra sacs and cysts and anything else that could come along. That being said my next appointment is next Wednesday so I hopefully there will be no new worrisome details.


Blogger PJ said...

Knowledge can be a bad thing some times. I thought the same thing when I saw that I had a subchorionic hematoma at the 6w3d scan. Had I not had that early scan, I would've never known because it resolved itself by the next week.

I guess ignorance can be blissful.

4:41 PM  
Blogger P. said...

I hope you appointment today goes well. Please update and let us know. I am thinking about you :o)

12:24 PM  

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